The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had it happen to them; you are on the way out the door, but your little one is holding you up hunting for his favorite teddy bear. Or your eight month old will not stop crying in her crib because her pacifier is out of reach. As caretakers you know how constricting a comfort object can be in life. However, to your small child the lack of his favorite teddy bear is what feels frustrating. Security objects are exactly what they sound like, and are a vital and healthy part of growing up.

By the time most children reach one year of age, they've already chosen a security object that must be within reach at nearly all times. In children younger than one, a binkie or even the child's own thumb will usually work quite well to settle and relieve them in their time of need. As your little one becomes a toddler, they might find something a little bit more physically reassuring to protect them such as a favorite teddy bear or blanket. It has been said that soft texture is partly responsible for the effect they seem to have on little ones. Toddlers will often rub a blankie on their arm or face or pet a teddy bear in order to sooth themselves.

An additional soothing feature your toddler may discover with a comfort object is the fact that it reminds them of you. Rubbing the soft blanket on your child's face could remind him or her of your skin or clothing when being embraced or cradled by you. Or perhaps the blanket has always been a part of the naptime routine you and your child have established. Again, the connection of you soothing your child or making him or her feel safe is what prompts the attachment to these comfort items. Every so often young children make a security object out of uncommon belongings. It could be just about anything from a hard block to a sock. While this bond is not always noticeable, there is no doubt an emotional connection the child has made to get comfort or security from the item.

However difficult it may be for you to satisfy your child's constant desire for their blankie or teddy bear, it'll help to keep in mind that this time is healthy and essential. The world is uncertain to a young child, particularly as they approach their first birthday. It is during this time period that children start to suffer from separation anxiety just as they are more likely to find themselves separated from you because of child care, nursery school, or even of their own free will as they are able to explore their surroundings. Through a comfort object, your child is finding ways to soothe herself when you aren't available and as they widen their independence. Consider it a short term support to get them through this time in their lives.

It isn't until your child reaches the age of 4 that she or he will begin to control their feelings and emotions and don't need to rely on a comfort item for comfort and security, according to child-development specialist Jane Kostelc. It is also at this age that carrying around a dirty old blanket might be less socially acceptable among your child's friends. Who knew children had to deal with peer pressure so young? Anyway, it is perhaps best for you as a parent to respect this phase as the milestone that it is. By doing so you'll promote their development and growth. Something that is most certainly worthy of your short term frustration.